Stagnant or part of the process?

I feel like I have become stagnant in my healing because I can't cry. Not only can I not cry, I feel like there is a heavy weight on my chest (heart) and my mind. I don't have peace about it at all. I am a pretty emotional woman. I cry at commercials, when friends get engaged, friends get pregnant, movies and even cartoons. Why are only a few tears escaping my eyes? I feel all bottled up and that is not healthy. Lord please help me cry even if it is at an inopportune time!

I am going to get a baby bracelet from the bookstore at church as a token to remember/grieve for my lost baby (still to be named). I also asked a friend who makes baby blankets to make one for us. Another friend who has also gone through the heartache of miscarriage is going to lend me some books to help me with the grieving.

I was starting to plan out this school year (ie the number of weeks) to homeschool my preschoolish aged girls and I got to February 1st (my estimated due date) and I just stopped and felt like it was hard to breathe all of a sudden but no tears.

I had a picnic potluck with some other women bible studies this past Monday and I met someone who had just experienced her 2nd m/c. She was surprised to hear that although it has been less than a month that I am not angry at God for my m/c. She asked me how I got rid of my anger and I told her that I never was angry at God for my m/c. I don't think that lack of anger is common in women who have experienced this type of loss. When my mom died nearly 9 1/2 years ago, I was VERY angry with God although I didn't believe in Him or follow Him yet. I was only able to let go of that anger within the last couple of years.

I've heard that every loss is different and now I truly know that to be true because my loss and grieving process have been very different for my mom and for my lost baby.