2 months already??

I can't believe that 2 months have passed already since my D&C and death of our son Chilion. It seems like just yesterday that I was excited and looking forward to his arrival on Feb. 1st 2010. I woke up this morning feeling very down and just, for lack of a better word, icky.

I was praying about it this morning and the feelings did not go away. I even prayed that I would not be driven by my feelings but rather that God would grant me peace and strength. I posted on my Facebook page that I am having a hard day and to please pray for me. Also if any of my friends wanted to come by that I would be okay with that. (I don't remember exactly what was posted and can't check because we have facebook blocked from 7a-3p. otherwise I'm on it for a large part of the day. I'm so grateful my husband knows computers so well). :-)

Then, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging and suggesting that I do something for someone else to get the focus off of myself. (a little back story) A lady from my morning women's bible study is starting a service project. The project is to make no sew fleece blankets for children at Safe Embrace. Safe Embrace is a battered women's shelter in the Reno Area. (back to my post)
One of the ladies at church donated some fabric yesterday. So I started making a blanket. It was actually very therapeutic for a couple of reasons, (1) I was helping someone else (2) I was doing something active by using my hands (3) I have a heart for children - especially ones in difficult situations.

I am going to continue to help out with this service project. While making (and completing the first blanket) I realized that as part of my healing that perhaps I should make one for my Chilion.